I have been in two minds about posting this but i feel it is something that need to be said.
As you are all aware I suffer with depression and I have a overwhelming urge tell people about it.
Ok so that's not really what I mean but ... Anyway let me explain.
This time of year is lovely for most people but for some it reminds you that the whole world is celebrating and you are struggling. You see hundreds of smiling faces looking back at you on facebook and twitter and you feel even more detached from the world.
You are not alone. I myself find christmas hard. I had a very bad incident about 16 years ago and this will alway haunt this holiday for me. Also I don't have much in the way of family. If you have been following my blog for a while I'm sure you are very aware of this.
Depression is a funny beast. It can lay under the surface for a long time before it reappears. I know the winter can be quite a hard time for people like me who suffer. Check out www.mind.org.uk If you need urgent help and can't get to your doctor. The best thing I did for my depression was contact My doctor. I honestly would not be here if it wasn't for my Husband and the doctors help.
Everyone is different, no one is the same. This seem like a silly thing to say but I am a people pleaser and this causes me loads of problems. I always judge myself against everyone else. I have slowly learned that this is a good thing. I do try to remember this.
For instance this time of year go's hand in hand with alcohol. Now I can be fine after drinking but
I can also get complete crippling depression, where I sit and cry for hours just because I think I have made a fool of myself or said something stupid. I almost feel suicidal. When I come out of it I can't believe how I felt. I always try to think, if a friend of mine acted like I acted would I care? and the answer would always be no. I never do anything bad if anything I'm overly nice to people. Read this it helped me drinkaware.co.uk
I try to remember that I am so Lucky I have a lovely husband, mother & father in law. I have my amazing friend and dogs. I have my health. There will be a post about what's been happening with my health soon. Its seems crazy but remember some people would kill to be you. You are unique & special & can't be replaced.
Hope this has helped at least one of you.