How are you?
Today I want to talk about how to make relationships easier. Everyone knows that most arguments happen because of stressful situations right? I want to tell you how I overcome hurdles in my marriage and relationships. I am no expert but I have had plenty of experience in my own life and in the police.
1. Be open and honest. At the start, we all hide our flaws. From telling each other you love the other favourite food. When you can not stand it. To tell them, yeah I'm happy you such good friends with your ex. When in reality you hate the food and wish the ex would disappear. Come on who is really friends with an ex? It might be hard but honesty is the best. It will honestly save so many arguments.
2. Never go to bed angry. There is nothing worse than lying in bed fuming or reliving every stupid thing you have ever said. Take a 10-minute break. You will have the space to think and you will be surprised what will happen. Remember everyone is entitled to have their opinion and sometime you will not agree with them but for a relationship to work, you have to be willing to accept the other person's opinions.
3. So it is time to move in together. It's time to look at removal companies. Yes, they are more expensive than doing it yourself but honestly moving house is so stressful. Especially, if you are combining two existing households. A removal company will pack and deliver all your items and all you have to do it turn up at the new house. The big occasion is high triggers for stress and stress leads to arguments. Why not just cut out the middle man and get removal quotes they are a lot cheaper than you are thinking and how nice would don't having to pack everything up.
4. Trust. You have to have trust in a relationship. I have trust issues and my husband had to break these down. I was treated badly by ex and also hugely let down by my family. Which left me with huge trust issues. You have to be open to let someone in. I thought I would never trust someone again and then along came my husband who completely broke down my defensiveness. If there is no trust in a relationship. It won't work. I am also of the opinion that when the trust is broken it is not fixable. work on trust from day one. If you don't know where you stand, talk about it. It can be scary to have that conversation but it is better to have it than to keep wondering what the other person is thinking.
5. Don't be afraid to cut people off. As I said at the start this is not only about finding your soulmate or the person you will spend your life with. This is also about every relationship you have with other people. Sometimes fighting for a relationship is too much and it cost you too much. I spent many years fighting for the relationship I had with my family. It was if I was to put it in a nutshell toxic. It took me until my wedding day, then I finally came to terms with the fact that they were causing more problems than anyone else in my life. You know the old saying blood is thicker than water. Well in my case this is not true. I had to let them go and when I came to terms with my life without them. I realised I have never been happier. It is ok to let people go. You don't have to keep toxic people in your life. This includes toxic friends, partners, and family. Cut the ties and see how your life changes.
This was a huge relief in my relationship with my husband. He could see what they were doing to me and was a bystander to it. It has removed a huge stress from my life. It is not always an easy choice but sometimes it's the tough ones that make life better. You and only you have to make the decision whether this is the right relationship for you to be in?