Why premarital therapy is a good idea.
Thursday 17 January 2019
This year I am on a drive to make mental health a priority. Today I want to talk about couples counselling. In life, we prioritise so many things. But is counselling one of them? There are so many reasons that people are too scared to ask for help. Sometimes it's because of stigma. Sometimes its the cost implications. Sometimes it's the reality that your relationship may not work no matter how much work you put into it. ,
I have been in a mentally abusive relationship in the past. I know this has made me second guess a new relationship. I expect things to go the same way as my bad relationship went. I wish I had the strength to get help earlier and realise the problems were not mine. This, in turn, has left me scared. I am not afraid of admitting this. My mental health took a huge knock and I needed to believe I could be loved by someone and know my worth. I thankfully had help and moved on in my life and found my now husband.
This is 2019 we need to embrace therapy and I was reading an article on premarital counselling on regain.us, They have loads of great article about all sorts of mental health and couples counselling. This got me thinking about engagement.
When you get engaged you get a sparkly ring but you do not get a book on what to expect when you get married. There are so many hurdles coming your way and that is not just the planning a wedding. My wedding was not the best day of my life. It was the day I married my husband but there was so much drama around the day. It is forever marred in my mind. I wish I had premarital counselling to help me and my husband get ready for what was to come. I have to say our relationship is strong and we have weathered many storms but the wedding was hard.
In counselling, you can iron out any niggling questions you may have. You may have talked life goals but have you really talked them out. What if you have decided you don't want children and you are getting pressure from your family? What if your goal is to emigrate to another country and that is a complete non-negotiable. What if your job changed and you have to move? What if you really don't get on with your partners family or friends. What would you do?
It is always better to have someone to talk to about these situations. You can have couples appointments with a therapist and individual appointments. These are all to get you ready for what is to come. This is also a place to help iron out any prenup agreements and really get to the finer questions you have. Even if you think you are in the best relationship in the world we all have an argument and get annoyed with our partners. Add in a wedding and trying to please everyone. You will need a bit extra support. Let's face it you will spend a fortune on your wedding why not add in the cost to get a bit of mental help during this fragile time in your life. It is after all your marriage.
A wedding day is just that a day. You need to be prepared for your life together and know what you both expect.